Mar 30, 2023

Other People's Emotions Are Not Our Responsibility

We may have been conditioned to take responsibility for how other people feel, but this can create anxiety, resentment, and shame spirals. Here's why it's not our responsibility.

MENTAL_HEALTH RELATIONSHIPS EMOTIONS

Dr. Nicole LePera

#1 New York Times Bestselling Author “How To Do The Work”(https://t.co/HF3UY9ia4Q) Founder of @selfhealerscirc 👇🏼Join Waitlist 👇🏼

Member of Business & Startups

Some of us believe other people's emotions are our responsibility. This creates anxiety, resentment, and shame spirals.

Other people's emotions aren't our responsibility.

Here's why:
— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) March 30, 2023
In codependent family systems, we're conditioned to be responsible for how other people feel. Many of us played the role of "therapist" to a parent figure or internalized the belief that we had to make then feel better from a young age.
— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) March 30, 2023
Because this is our "normal" we continue the pattern into our adult lives. Always focusing on how other people are feeling, how they perceive us, and if they might be mad at us.
— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) March 30, 2023
As we mature and heal from these dynamics, it's important to understand our adult emotional responsibility.
— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) March 30, 2023
Our Adult Emotional Responsibility:

1. I am responsible for managing my emotional responses. Including when I feel disappointed or upset.
— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) March 30, 2023
2. I am not responsible for walking on eggshells, hiding parts of my truth, or denying my reality because another adult cannot regulate their own emotions.
— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) March 30, 2023
3. I'm responsible for speaking in ways that are clear and also kind. I do not shame or use insults as a way to communicate my perspective.

4. I am not responsible for people's expectations of me that they never communicated to me.
— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) March 30, 2023
5. When adults are disappointed with me, I can accept this as a natural part of life. I am not responsible for going into fixer or rescuer mode as I did as a child.
— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) March 30, 2023
6. If people have a problem or issue, they will communicate this, directly. I'm not responsible for pulling things out of people, or guessing.
— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) March 30, 2023
7. My emotions matter. I do not need to betray myself to appear "easy" or "good." I'm responsible for speaking up for myself and being authentic.
— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) March 30, 2023
As we heal, and reclaim emotional responsibility we are learning self respect.

Who's on this journey? Share in the comments.
— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) March 30, 2023
If you found this helpful follow: @Theholisticpsyc

I write threads every day on how to heal yourself.

Join the waitlist for SelfHealers Circle https://t.co/dqXv0WDTCC

My new workbook:https://t.co/cfspkMbDR3
— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) March 30, 2023