Normalizing Crying
Crying is a natural and healthy way to regulate our emotions. This blog explores why we need to normalize crying and why it is important to create space and time to make intentional choices.
Dr. Nicole LePera
#1 New York Times Bestselling Author “How To Do The Work”(https://t.co/HF3UY9ia4Q) Founder of @selfhealerscirc 👇🏼Join Waitlist 👇🏼
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You cry easily.
— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) June 24, 2023
When you're overwhelmed, happy, or any time your body is releasing an intense emotion.
Why We Need To Normalize Crying: -
Crying is the body's way of regulating the nervous system. After we cry, we enter a parasympathetic state. Just as animals shake to release sympathetic (threat) energy, humans cry to release it and return back to balance.
— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) June 24, 2023 -
Because we live in an emotionally repressed culture, we believe crying is weak. That it's something to be embarrassed of, and that it's somehow a demonstration that we aren't competent.
— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) June 24, 2023 -
This shows how little we understand about our own bodies, and how much we value a facade of being stoic or emotionless.
— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) June 24, 2023 -
So many people feel shame over crying when:
— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) June 24, 2023
- they feel anything intense
- they're complimented
- someone does something kind
- the focus is on them in a positive or negative way
- they stand up for themselves
- there is "no reason" -
We need to normalize crying because it's an autonomic reaction that allows us to process overwhelm. Crying does not automatically mean that someone is sad. There are a wide variety of emotional responses that trigger crying.
— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) June 24, 2023 -
HOW WE CAN NORMALIZE CRYING:
— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) June 24, 2023
Stop saying "don't cry": don't cry is almost everyone's natural reaction to crying because we heard this since childhood. When someone cries, just be there. Allow them. Embrace the silence (even when uncomfortable) -
Stop saying "I'm sorry": when you cry, stop apologizing. There is absolutely nothing to apologize for. If you feel uncomfortable, you can say, "I'm going to take a minute."
— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) June 24, 2023 -
Remind yourself why you cry: instead of self shaming ("I hate how I automatically cry the second I feel upset") Reframe it: "I'm glad my body is crying to help me self regulate. I know how calm I'll feel afterwards."
— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) June 24, 2023 -
People's discomfort with your tears is their issue, not yours: most people are deeply uncomfortable with human emotions. If people are uncomfortable when you cry, that will be something for them to work through.
— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) June 24, 2023 -
Crying isn't something to fix: offering solutions, the "bright" side, or anything else isn't helpful when someone cries. Letting the process happen will help them to recover and feel more at ease. Trying to fix or stop the crying only creates anxiety.
— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) June 24, 2023 -
Retweet to normalize crying.
— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) June 24, 2023
Are you comfortable crying in front of people or when people cry? Share in the comments.
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