Men's Work: Exploring the Primal Masculine

Men are lost today.

It doesn't have to be that way.

If you're a Man, under 30, read this: pic.twitter.com/EA4emhNQdr

— Clint Murphy (@IAmClintMurphy) April 1, 2023

Over the last six years, I've read 10+ books on Manhood,

And, I spent 2+ years in Men's work as a participant and facilitator.

Below, I'll share:

• How we got here
• What we're dealing with
• How we can improve our life

— Clint Murphy (@IAmClintMurphy) April 1, 2023

• The Marlboro Man

Our grandfathers and great-grandfathers lived through the depression and fought in world wars.

They were Hard Men.

These men were stuck in the primal masculine, and their emotionally stunted lives led to:

• Violence
• Drug use
• Alcoholism

— Clint Murphy (@IAmClintMurphy) April 1, 2023

• The Sensitive New Age Guy (SNAG)

The fallout from the Marlboro Man led to the SNAG generation.

Men who felt the only way to make women feel safe was to diminish their masculinity.

All heart and no guts.

Dogs pretending to be cats.

It is the Marlboro Man overcorrected.

— Clint Murphy (@IAmClintMurphy) April 1, 2023

• The Distracted Man

Men today are distracted.

They have a full schedule but rarely go deep in anything.

They read multiple books but don't finish or act on them.

They will not commit to anything.

They are skittish, touchy, prickly, and resist being a teammate.

— Clint Murphy (@IAmClintMurphy) April 1, 2023

• The Nice Guy

Men are Nice Guys:

• won't make his needs a priority
• lets their partner run the show
• lets people walk all over him
• hides flaws and mistakes
• flip flops their decisions
• is afraid of conflict
• represses feelings
• seeks approval
• is a giver

— Clint Murphy (@IAmClintMurphy) April 1, 2023

Let's kill the Nice Guy and Distracted Man:

• Listen
• Purpose
• Don't argue
• Do hard things
• Be a strong rock
• No covert contracts
• Build your circle of men
• Reclaim your masculinity
• Make your needs a priority
• Express but don't defend feelings

— Clint Murphy (@IAmClintMurphy) April 1, 2023

• Purpose

A man without purpose is like a ship without a rudder.

He wanders aimlessly through life with no clear direction.

Find your purpose.

Live it.

— Clint Murphy (@IAmClintMurphy) April 1, 2023

• Listen

If you want to have a successful relationship, learn to listen.

Even when it sounds like it's about you, it is not about you.

Listen to the needs and wants of the person you are talking to.

Be in the moment.

— Clint Murphy (@IAmClintMurphy) April 1, 2023

• Don't argue

When you lose, you lose, and when you win, you lose.

When in doubt, keep your mouth shut:

• Review past arguments and find patterns
• Abandon your need to be right
• For one week, don't argue

— Clint Murphy (@IAmClintMurphy) April 1, 2023

• Do hard things

Nothing sets a man apart like doing hard things.

We must let go of distractions and the Nice Guy to accomplish the challenge.

When we complete a challenging task, we build our get shit done muscle.

We teach ourselves that we can do more, and we do it.

— Clint Murphy (@IAmClintMurphy) April 1, 2023

• Be a strong rock

Being a rock doesn't mean being stoic, expressionless, or silent.

It means being present and available.

You don't need to answer right away,

learn to be comfortable with uncertainty,

and have faith the solution will come if you stay out of the problem

— Clint Murphy (@IAmClintMurphy) April 1, 2023

• No covert contracts

Men behave a certain way expecting something from their partner.

The problem is they don't have a conversation with their partner.

This is a covert contract.

Avoid these.

Instead, ask for what you want when you want it.

— Clint Murphy (@IAmClintMurphy) April 1, 2023

• Have a circle of men

Men suffer in silence.

They have nobody to share their darkest challenges with.

It leads to depression, alcoholism, drug abuse, and suicide.

Build a circle of men you can confide in on a regular basis.

Stop suffering in silence.

— Clint Murphy (@IAmClintMurphy) April 1, 2023

• Reclaim your masculinity

Work on your body.

Be dangerous but not a danger.

Build your strength and presence.

Set challenging goals and go after them. Go after them hard.

Learn to meditate and be in touch with the divine feminine while accessing the primal masculine.

— Clint Murphy (@IAmClintMurphy) April 1, 2023

• Make your needs a priority

Stop playing second fiddle.

Draft a list of your commandments.

Know the hills you are willing to die on and won't drop for anything.

Communicate your commandments to those close to you and that you will cooperate without compromising.

— Clint Murphy (@IAmClintMurphy) April 1, 2023

• Express but don't defend feelings

Stop burying your feelings.

Let others know how you feel.

Whatever you feel is okay and doesn't need to be defended.

If you're not sure what to say, buy yourself time:

• Let me think about it
• Let's talk about this tomorrow

— Clint Murphy (@IAmClintMurphy) April 1, 2023

This thread does not capture everything it means to be a Man or improve your life, but it will get you started.

• Set goals
• Do hard things
• Access the divine feminine
• Rebuild your primal masculine
• Learn to express healthy feelings
• Understand your commandments

— Clint Murphy (@IAmClintMurphy) April 1, 2023

This thread is a Cheat Sheet on "Manhood in the 21st Century" to help you be the best man you can be.

If you got value out of this thread:

1. Follow me @IAmClintMurphy for more of these
2. RT the tweet below to share with your friendshttps://t.co/6QqvcaEMXt

— Clint Murphy (@IAmClintMurphy) April 1, 2023