Processing Vibecamp: Learning to Listen to Your Body and Making the Most of Opportunities

i’m still processing but there are a few things that stayed with me after vibecamp that i want to share before i start forgetting them:

— дэн (@dan_abramov) June 20, 2023

we talked about this with @jessicamalonso and @sonikudzu and they framed it as “is it a yes or a no?” your body knows what you want to do even if you try to rationalize your way out of it. sometimes it’s to run away

— дэн (@dan_abramov) June 20, 2023

one thing that really helped is that i arrived early (thanks @gptbrooke for the opportunity despite me not doing anything useful) and so this helped me get comfortable with the territory as well as the “social skeleton” of the crew running the event. i didn’t feel disoriented

— дэн (@dan_abramov) June 20, 2023

i skipped most events except the ones i naturally felt pulled to. we were in the middle of a conversation and were like “let’s skip this event cause we’re having something more meaningful” and then the event “came to us” because it turned out to be in the room we were already in

— дэн (@dan_abramov) June 20, 2023

the most important spaces were empty spaces. the swings, the fires, the hills were the critical infrastructure. all my best encounters were randomly bumping into people also in-between things

“Cut doors and windows⁰to make a room.⁰Where the room isn’t,⁰there’s room for you.”

— дэн (@dan_abramov) June 20, 2023

throughout @jessicamalonso was dropping gems. i enjoyed her definition of tpot as “people who REALLY like to talk”.@animalologist talked about how we use social media differently by “pre-seeding” friendships: “here’s my deal”. shared context lets you kickstart deep convos fast

— дэн (@dan_abramov) June 20, 2023

i am thankful to everyone above, and especially @not_a_hot_girl @MasterTimBlais for helping me get better at seeing and being seen. the afterglow from that is magnificent and that’s the part i’m still processing

— дэн (@dan_abramov) June 20, 2023

i’ll write more later

— дэн (@dan_abramov) June 20, 2023

a few more

i told @DreadCanary i was struggling with his conversation style because he went on deep tangents that my relevance filter tuned out. then i realized this filter is just something i put on, and i have a permission to go on these tangents too. that felt transformative

— дэн (@dan_abramov) June 20, 2023

“giving permission” has cascading effects. @jessicamalonso called it “showing up”. you “show up” by doing what feels right even if it’s off the usual social script. then other people realize they’re allowed to the same. then the magic happens. (i don’t even mind the woo framing)

— дэн (@dan_abramov) June 20, 2023

i lold at @myceliummage describing getting “contact high” from an acidic conversation nearby but this happened to me too. we were on that wavelength even while completely sober. there was a massive “what if” in the air and it was bittersweet to think whether this can last beyond

— дэн (@dan_abramov) June 20, 2023

more overheard on “how to vibe”:

- “have you tried walking to a different fire?”
- “it’s like visa’s focus on what you want to see more of, but irl”
- “it’s all about the side quests”

— дэн (@dan_abramov) June 20, 2023

thank you to @bashu_thanks for hosting and for sharing his beautiful song

— дэн (@dan_abramov) June 20, 2023

while this isn’t generally my thing i loved the energy in the 3am impromptu wrestling ring refereed by @man_ditch. thanks to the guy who looked like david bowie for sharing the supplies. thanks to @trstn_ca for reminding it’s ok to be quiet and for sharing a roasted marshmallow

— дэн (@dan_abramov) June 20, 2023

massive thanks to all volunteers for putting out fires behind the scenes. i don’t remember everyone’s handles or even faces but wanted to call out @ZerothAxiom, Stag, @DreadCanary, @embryosophy. detailed badges by Nobody were such a treat. thx @gptbrooke et al in the white house

— дэн (@dan_abramov) June 20, 2023

when @gptbrooke felt a bit discouraged by apparently mixed reception at the time all i could think of is how we were sitting just a few hours ago we’re be like “we don’t need to tweet… we’re tweeting with our mouths”. the words are still forming

— дэн (@dan_abramov) June 20, 2023

thankful to @jayvidyarthi and @00aarti for conversations about “balancing this and that” and lurking

— дэн (@dan_abramov) June 20, 2023

fleet pic.twitter.com/myM5mIVJxK

— дэн (@dan_abramov) June 20, 2023

ohhh also huge thanks to @PiquantParvenu and @TheNerdsQuest for spending time together and for bringing your crew to my set!! that was unexpected and very touching

— дэн (@dan_abramov) June 20, 2023

finally i’d like to thank my wonderful wife and life partner @sasha_brmv for being so supportive of me going to vibecamp on my own. over the years we’ve learned that we have very different preferences in how we connect with other people: i’m breadth-first while she’s depth-first.

— дэн (@dan_abramov) June 21, 2023

specifically this means that while i enjoy bonding with dozens of people over a couple of days and then barely seeing them again for a year, for Sasha it would be a nightmare. likewise, i don’t have the patience for the deliberate slow-growing friendship that Sasha likes to build

— дэн (@dan_abramov) June 21, 2023

in the first years of our marriage we tried to always spend all vacations together, and it was a source of tension and unsatisfying compromise. we’ve learned to let go of this idea, and to give each other the space to be serendipitous (me) or deliberate (her), as we feel natural.

— дэн (@dan_abramov) June 22, 2023