Navigating Consent in Emotional Support

1/The number of DMs I've received this week of folks sharing their painful experiences with Don Norman OR how they're too afraid to publicly speak out about the harm of his work because they're worried about how that might impact their career is ... alarming. For two reasons:

— Vivianne Castillo (@vcastillo630) March 24, 2023

2/

#1: I don't think people realize how many unsolicited trauma stories in general I get in my DMs/LinkedIn/email etc. I appreciate being seen as someone who can be a safe space and am grateful to have training as a therapist to not let it consume/crush me. But...but...

— Vivianne Castillo (@vcastillo630) March 24, 2023

3/ ... it can be a lot. Please be mindful of what you're asking me to hold for you without any relationship with you. My favorite DMs start with, "I was wondering if you have the space or energy for me to share something with you that I've been carrying for awhile."

— Vivianne Castillo (@vcastillo630) March 24, 2023

4/ It gives me agency and choice. It allows me to think of other ways to support you if I'm emotionally spent in that moment. It asks for my consent before being exposed to your trauma. It allows me to better support you AND me in that moment.

— Vivianne Castillo (@vcastillo630) March 24, 2023

5/ #2: Why ... are people ... so afraid? This is not an invitation for you to educate me on all the theories of fear but rather an invitation for us to stop and ask ourselves: What are we doing here and how can we move forward? And so ...

— Vivianne Castillo (@vcastillo630) March 24, 2023