Healing from a Screaming or Yelling Home

If you grew up in a home with constant screaming or yelling, your body remembers. You might startle easily. Or feel like sobbing when someone yells.

How To Heal:

— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) June 20, 2023

Our auditory environment matters.

Many of us grew up with emotionally eruptive adults. So we heard yelling, the throwing of things, or doors slamming on a regular basis. Children need a soothing tone cue signals of safety to their nervous system to regulate.

— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) June 20, 2023

When a child is consistently yelled at or the environment is explosive, the autonomic nervous system becomes dysregulated. We can get stuck in this dysregulated state, unable to recover.

— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) June 20, 2023

Here's some signs you might be dysregulated:
- you struggle to sleep even when exhausted
- you instantly feel tears come on when angry or upset
- you startle easily
- you have 'overreactions' to minor things

— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) June 20, 2023

- crowd overwhelm or scare you
- you feel anxious (maybe even plan escape routes) in new environments
- you feel fear or panic when you can't control a situation
- you use yelling or screaming as a way to protect yourself when you feel threatened

— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) June 20, 2023

Ultimately, we're constantly overstimulated. This makes it difficult for us to focus, to sleep, and to connect with people around us emotionally.

— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) June 20, 2023

Some people raised in this environment are drawn to careers that also are over stimulating. This could be nursing, hospitality, or any environment that is consistently stressful.

— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) June 20, 2023

It's important to make our home environment a place that cues safety to our nervous system. This will send signals to our body that the stress is not constant, and that the nervous system can stabilize.

— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) June 20, 2023

How To Create A Secure Environment:

1. A no screaming policy: screaming by nature sends danger dues to the body. If you live with people, have a policy that if screaming does happen, a break is taken to cool down.

— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) June 20, 2023

2. Use the song "weightless" by Marconi union: this song was created by a professional sound practitioner and a study concluded that it reduced anxiety by 65% in participants with 3 minutes of playtime.

— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) June 20, 2023

3. Use skin to skin touch: skin to skin touch is a nervous system regulator. Laying in quiet with someone after a stressful day can help the body recover and process the stressful event.

— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) June 20, 2023

4. Turn down that social invite (if you need to): sometimes when we're overstimulated, we feel like we have to keep going and going. Taking time to rest, to recover, and to just be is important. It might feel uncomfortable before it's relaxing.

— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) June 20, 2023

5. Get outside: listening to bird, the wind in the stress, an the natural sounds of nature has a calming effect on the entire body. Spend time time in the sun just listening to the world around you.

— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) June 20, 2023

6. Noise cancelling headphones: if you live in a busy area, or around a lot of people, noise cancelling headphones can help block out the over stimulation, allowing your body to recover.

— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) June 20, 2023

7. Meditations or soothing voices: use Spotify or YouTube to listen to voices that are soothing and calming for you. Just by hearing a regulated voice, our nervous system will co-regulate.

— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) June 20, 2023

With repeated practice, your body will learn that it can relax and does not have to be on guard.

You'll sleep better, have more control over your emotional reactions, and feel overall more at peace.

— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) June 20, 2023