Codependency and Beliefs

5 Beliefs We Have If We're Raised In Codependent Families: pic.twitter.com/8vCQS8OFYG

— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) March 26, 2023

Codependency comes from growing up in an emotionally enmeshed home where we never got to develop a sense of self.

We don't learn how to trust our intuition, or think for ourselves because we were seen an extension of our parent figures.

— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) March 26, 2023

In codependent homes there is:
- group think "we believe, we do x, we see people as x"
- lack of emotional boundaries (everyone is involved in everything)
- one adult controls the entire emotional climate of the home

— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) March 26, 2023

- individualization is seen as negative (must have the same opinions and beliefs)
- guilt, manipulation, or control: children are punished or shamed for not performing for or appeasing parent figures.

— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) March 26, 2023

Beliefs Developed From Codependent Homes:

1. I'm responsible for the emotions of others: codependent homes are usually chaotic and stressful and as children we internalize the belief that we're responsible for how everyone around us feels.

— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) March 26, 2023

Many codependent children describe being a "therapist" to their parent at a young age.

— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) March 26, 2023

2. I must perform or betray myself and my own needs to be loved: we learn that the way to get parental approval is to perform or achieve. Because our emotional needs aren't seen as important, we focus on becoming who a parent wants us to be.

— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) March 26, 2023

3. Boundaries are selfish: codependent homes don't have boundaries or limits, which is why there is usually enabling or caretaking. Boundaries are a part of all healthy relationships and allow us to place limits that keep us safe.

— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) March 26, 2023

4. People's opinions of me are who I am: children who grow up in codependent families typically get used to critical or highly opinionated parent figures and siblings. This creates a belief that who other people think we are is who we are.

— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) March 26, 2023

5. My worthiness comes through others: codependent adults have an incessant desire to prove yourself. Often people from codependent homes pick careers, partners, and places to live based on approval from parent figures, not authentic desires.

— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) March 26, 2023

Being raised in a codependent home can create deep seated beliefs that we're not good enough, and confusion about who we truly are.

If you're healing from codependency, share your experience in the comments.

— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) March 26, 2023