Stop Apologizing When You Aren't Sorry
Apologizing when you don't feel like you did something wrong is a habit that can hold you back. Here are tips to help you take up space and start feeling more confident.
Dr. Nicole LePera
#1 New York Times Bestselling Author “How To Do The Work”(https://t.co/HF3UY9ia4Q) Founder of @selfhealerscirc 👇🏼Join Waitlist 👇🏼
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Stop Apologizing When You Aren't Sorry.
— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) June 19, 2023
Take Up Space And Start Feeling More Confident: -
Chronic apologizing is a habit of apologizing for things when you don't actually feel like you did something wrong.
— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) June 19, 2023
It comes from fawning (a nervous system response) where we feel like we have to apologize in order to be accepted or be safe. -
Chronic apologizing sounds like:
— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) June 19, 2023
- "I'm sorry, but I think..."
- "Sorry, but I'm actually in line."
- "Sorry, I remember it differently"
- "Sorry, can I ask you something?"
- "Sorry, but I am using that?"
- "Sorry, I know I have so much going on" -
When we apologize for having a different opinion, for needing something, or for having human emotion, we're trying to appear to be easy. We're trying to not upset or offend anyone. We're sending a message that we apologizing for having a point of view.
— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) June 19, 2023 -
This isn't something to apologize for.
— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) June 19, 2023
Instead of apologizing for things, we can say:
"I appreciate you listening even though I have a lot going on."
"I'll definitely think about that perspective, I see it differently. Here's why..." -
"You probably didn't notice, but there's a line here."
— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) June 19, 2023
"I'm using this right now and I can give it to you as soon as I'm done with it."
"I don't remember it happening that way. Here's how I experienced it..."
"Thank you so much for being patient." -
Apologizing when we've feel we've truly hurt someone and want to take ownership is important. But chronic apologizing when we haven't done anything wrong takes away our confidence.
— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) June 19, 2023 -
It perpetuates the idea that we have to apologize for taking up shape or for having beliefs. It caters to "good girl" conditioning that says it's wrong for us to have our own needs and that we are responsible for caretaking the emotions of other adults.
— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) June 19, 2023 -
Even more damaging is when we apologize for having a natural reaction to someone's hurtful or damaging behavior.
— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) June 19, 2023
We might say: "I'm sorry, but I don't like being yelled at." -
In reality we aren't sorry. We're angry. Or upset.
— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) June 19, 2023
Instead we can say: "I don't want to be yelled at. It's fine for you to voice your opinion, but if there's is yelling, I'm going to remove myself." -
Notice if you have a habit of chronic apologizing.
— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) June 19, 2023
Bookmark this tweet and start practicing out of the habit.
You'll gain more confidence, and people will feel much more at ease around you. -
If you want to dive deeper into healing your emotional patterns join the waitlist for @selfhealerscirc.
— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) June 19, 2023
We have over 20,000 members from around the world healing on our private platform: https://t.co/bZLhqe251d