Revolutionary Guide to Deep Kindness
Kindness and empathy are essential for today's world, but have decreased by 40% in the past 20 years. This guide explores the action of conscientiousness, understanding and sacrifice that is needed to foster authentic kindness and trust.
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Clint Murphy
I simplify psychology, success and money by sharing advice from millionaires, expert authors and my life.
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Kindness and empathy are essential in today's world.
— Clint Murphy (@IAmClintMurphy) March 28, 2023
But, empathy has decreased by 40% in the past 20 years.
Here's a Revolutionary Guide for How We Think, Talk, and Act in Kindness: pic.twitter.com/Z2k5plxYs5 -
• Deep Kindness
— Clint Murphy (@IAmClintMurphy) March 28, 2023
Confetti kindness is niceness and convenience.
Deep kindness is an action of conscientiousness, understanding and sacrifice.
Deep Kindness costs us:
• Time
• Effort
• Energy
• Sacrifice
• Comfort
• Convenience -
• Authentic Kindness
— Clint Murphy (@IAmClintMurphy) March 28, 2023
Giving kindness without trust can lead to hurt.
But, trust can be earned through empathy, authenticity and consistency.
People want to know you're in alignment without ulterior motives.
They want to see you show up when it's good or bad. Again and again. -
• How Are You
— Clint Murphy (@IAmClintMurphy) March 28, 2023
We're all 2 How Are You's away from a breakdown.
When someone asks, how are you, our default response is Fine.
We say it because we don't want to:
• Be a burden on people
• Acknowledge how we feel
Most of us only know four emotions: mad, sad, glad & afraid. -
• Holding Space
— Clint Murphy (@IAmClintMurphy) March 28, 2023
To hold space is to say to someone else, you're worthy of my time, energy and love.
I'm going to give you the most precious thing I have in this life:
• My time
• My undivided attention
To hold space is to give the gift of your attention. -
• Kindness and Mental Health
— Clint Murphy (@IAmClintMurphy) March 28, 2023
In the last forty years, we've increased:
• Access to information
• Access to negative news
• Conflict and feeling of distance
• Discrepancy between you and THEM
Now, we feel isolated, lonely and are experiencing the physiological effects. -
• The 3 Barriers
— Clint Murphy (@IAmClintMurphy) March 28, 2023
Three things that get in the way of deep kindness are:
• Insecurity
• Incompetence
• Inconvenience
First, we don't know how to do it.
Second, we're afraid to extend ourselves.
Third, we get so many other competing demands. -
• Empathy and Kindness
— Clint Murphy (@IAmClintMurphy) March 28, 2023
When we offer kindness and have the absence of empathy attached to it,
We give something that makes us feel good.
When we add empathy we give to others with an understanding of what they need first without the expectation of anything in return. -
• Three Dimensions of Empathy
— Clint Murphy (@IAmClintMurphy) March 28, 2023
The 3 dimensions of empathy are caring, sharing and thinking - The ABC's of Empathy:
• Affective
• Behavioral
• and, Cognitive
You need to recognize and understand someone's mental state, be able to share their feelings and behave accordingly. -
• The Power of Words and Stories
— Clint Murphy (@IAmClintMurphy) March 28, 2023
Pair a vocabulary with thoughtfulness.
Specific compliments are stickier:
• Stay with us longer
• They mean more to us
• More impactful than platitudes
The first 25% of kindness is just noticing and paying attention. -
This thread is based on my conversation with @houstonkraft and his book, Deep Kindness.
— Clint Murphy (@IAmClintMurphy) March 28, 2023
You can learn more about Houston here:https://t.co/JKPyJh8hoy
You can listen to our conversation here:https://t.co/A83deODwvm