Revolutionary Guide to Deep Kindness

Kindness and empathy are essential in today's world.

But, empathy has decreased by 40% in the past 20 years.

Here's a Revolutionary Guide for How We Think, Talk, and Act in Kindness: pic.twitter.com/Z2k5plxYs5

— Clint Murphy (@IAmClintMurphy) March 28, 2023

• Deep Kindness

Confetti kindness is niceness and convenience.

Deep kindness is an action of conscientiousness, understanding and sacrifice.

Deep Kindness costs us:

• Time
• Effort
• Energy
• Sacrifice
• Comfort
• Convenience

— Clint Murphy (@IAmClintMurphy) March 28, 2023

• Authentic Kindness

Giving kindness without trust can lead to hurt.

But, trust can be earned through empathy, authenticity and consistency.

People want to know you're in alignment without ulterior motives.

They want to see you show up when it's good or bad. Again and again.

— Clint Murphy (@IAmClintMurphy) March 28, 2023

• How Are You

We're all 2 How Are You's away from a breakdown.

When someone asks, how are you, our default response is Fine.

We say it because we don't want to:

• Be a burden on people
• Acknowledge how we feel

Most of us only know four emotions: mad, sad, glad & afraid.

— Clint Murphy (@IAmClintMurphy) March 28, 2023

• Holding Space

To hold space is to say to someone else, you're worthy of my time, energy and love.

I'm going to give you the most precious thing I have in this life:

• My time
• My undivided attention

To hold space is to give the gift of your attention.

— Clint Murphy (@IAmClintMurphy) March 28, 2023

• Kindness and Mental Health

In the last forty years, we've increased:

• Access to information
• Access to negative news
• Conflict and feeling of distance
• Discrepancy between you and THEM

Now, we feel isolated, lonely and are experiencing the physiological effects.

— Clint Murphy (@IAmClintMurphy) March 28, 2023

• The 3 Barriers

Three things that get in the way of deep kindness are:

• Insecurity
• Incompetence
• Inconvenience

First, we don't know how to do it.

Second, we're afraid to extend ourselves.

Third, we get so many other competing demands.

— Clint Murphy (@IAmClintMurphy) March 28, 2023

• Empathy and Kindness

When we offer kindness and have the absence of empathy attached to it,

We give something that makes us feel good.

When we add empathy we give to others with an understanding of what they need first without the expectation of anything in return.

— Clint Murphy (@IAmClintMurphy) March 28, 2023

• Three Dimensions of Empathy

The 3 dimensions of empathy are caring, sharing and thinking - The ABC's of Empathy:

• Affective
• Behavioral
• and, Cognitive

You need to recognize and understand someone's mental state, be able to share their feelings and behave accordingly.

— Clint Murphy (@IAmClintMurphy) March 28, 2023

• The Power of Words and Stories

Pair a vocabulary with thoughtfulness.

Specific compliments are stickier:

• Stay with us longer
• They mean more to us
• More impactful than platitudes

The first 25% of kindness is just noticing and paying attention.

— Clint Murphy (@IAmClintMurphy) March 28, 2023