Growing Up: How To Raise Your Immature Self

We have a child-like version of ourselves that can be very immature, impulsive, and highly reactive.

Here's How To Raise That Part Of You And Grow Up:

— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) June 17, 2023

As you become aware, you'll notice the immature part of you that over reacts, holds grudges, and engages in petty behavior. This isn't because you're a 'bad' person, it's because younger parts of ourselves stay within us.

— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) June 17, 2023

We're in a younger self when we:
- stomp around
- give the silent treatment or stonewall
- act in passive aggressive ways
- become highly reactive when things don't go our way
- try to blame everyone else around us
- yell or scream to "get our way"

— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) June 17, 2023

Our younger self sets out to do one thing: protect us.

For example: if we had an authoritarian parent who always was "right" and silenced us, we might become highly aggressive when we're in conflict. We can feel like that helpless child all over again.

— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) June 17, 2023

If you start to pay attention, you'll notice that people of all ages act very child-like when they're upset. They haven't learned better ways to cope with their emotions and frustration. Instead, they're living within their conditioned patterns.

— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) June 17, 2023

How To Free Yourself From This Pattern:

1. Become your own wise inner parent: the younger part of you needs understanding, not shaming. When you notice yourself becoming highly defensive or irrationally upset, remind yourself: "I am safe. I am an adult now."

— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) June 17, 2023

2. Stop the blame cycle: when we're in our younger self, we try to blame everyone around us. Ex: "I did that because you made me feel horrible!" Instead say: "Next time, I will pause before reacting. This will allow me to feel better about me."

— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) June 17, 2023

3. Practice feeling it: most people are terrified of their own emotional responses. They feel "too big" so they shut down or lash out. Practice just pausing and feeling it. You might want to cry or feel intense sensations. Trust yourself to allow them.

— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) June 17, 2023

4. Notice the pull to retaliate: wanting to act out or hurt someone back is an immature reaction to pain. It's ok to have this natural response, but acting on it only hurts us and causes us more stress. Notice this, and don't act on it.

— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) June 17, 2023

5. Practice "what would someone mature do": mature adults have high levels of confidence. Why? They don't get swept away in emotional responses. Practice acting like a mature person and choosing a calm response. With time, you'll see a spike in confidence.

— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) June 17, 2023