A Story About Narrowly Avoiding Getting Beaten Up in Public Hot Baths
Read a story about how one person narrowly avoided getting beaten up in public hot baths. Learn how the details of the situation became geometrically important in the end.
Robot James 🤖🏖
you know they love me at cboe, by the way
-
wanna hear a story about how i narrowly avoided getting beaten up in public hot baths?
— Robot James 🤖🏖 (@therobotjames) June 6, 2023 -
i'm returning from the bar with a couple of drinks.
— Robot James 🤖🏖 (@therobotjames) June 6, 2023
my mate, jim, is floating on his back in the hottest of the pools.
he looks like he's having a lovely time, head tilted slightly to the side, mouth slightly open.
these details will be geometrically important later. -
behind and to the left of jim is a big guy with maori tattoos on his face.
— Robot James 🤖🏖 (@therobotjames) June 6, 2023
he has his feet up and his eyes closed. and he looks to be peacefully enjoying his time in the water.
i watch as jim floats towards big guy. -
specifically, i watch as my mate's open mouth slowly floats towards big guy's outstretched toe.
— Robot James 🤖🏖 (@therobotjames) June 6, 2023
now, big guy's toe is in contact with my mate's mouth.
jim is giving big guy an accidental toe job. -
big guy opens his eyes and looks confused.
— Robot James 🤖🏖 (@therobotjames) June 6, 2023
he's not mad though.
phew.
it seems likely that big buy will write this off as a weird unfortunate accident. -
that is until big guy sees me.
— Robot James 🤖🏖 (@therobotjames) June 6, 2023
i, reader, am pissing myself.
i'm in hysterics, giggling uncontrollably.
the two strawberry daiquiris in my hand a spilling everywhere.
now big guy is mad.
he thinks i'm laughing at him.
or maybe he thinks this was a prank at his expense. -
either way, he's real fking mad.
— Robot James 🤖🏖 (@therobotjames) June 6, 2023
he stands up.
gang tattoos.
shit. -
i do realize that i'm in physical danger.
— Robot James 🤖🏖 (@therobotjames) June 6, 2023
but i also just watched my mate give an accidental toe job to this guy, which that's the funniest shit i've ever seen.
and currently the second consideration is overwhelming my psyche. -
big guy is getting closer.
— Robot James 🤖🏖 (@therobotjames) June 6, 2023
fk.
i'm still giggling.
he's here.
i'm trying to explain that i'm just a fun-loving guy with zero impulse control.
he looks unconvinced. -
eventually we both agree that:
— Robot James 🤖🏖 (@therobotjames) June 6, 2023
1. it would be a shame if that pretty little face got fked up
2. you shouldn't laugh at people in hot baths
3. and if you do, you should probably think about picking up some weights some time. -
and that's the story about how i nearly got beaten up at the public hot pools... err... this week.
— Robot James 🤖🏖 (@therobotjames) June 6, 2023